excited moment

once again is the boring life of mine. i wonder is it my communication problem or other where else. from the beginning of my study, i had rarely speak to anyone, the most that i speak too is also female friends. how pathetic i was. when step into this university, i had start to communicate but there is still having problem of it. The sense of humor are not in myself, i would like to make everyone happy if could. i often ignore my own feeling, press it deep inside me until it is to hard keep it inside. The main things that i really want to express are there is other male friends that willing speak to me, just like oh my god, did he speaking and chat with me just now? in my family would born with this perception on guys just speak to girl that is his girlfriends only, so i usually did not dare to step near or speak to guys. my life n my perception is set and it is just the thinking inside a box that set by my parents. how to say this, only Chicky woman will speak to guys. At the first is my hometown friends that speak to me at first, then is my senior. The special one is in the last sem i just meet this guys, i notice that he is really the a nice guy. honestly i have a unexplainable feeling with him, but i think in his eyes, every female friends is just normal friends only. i also meet one guy that with good communication skill with woman. haha. he also had girlfriends already and it make did not dare to step more near with him. my own feeling is easy to change, i doesn't know when what is the feeling when i had fall in love, i never do so. just that when a guy that treat me well, hear my voice, encourage me, i would think over. oh, what should i do. i had been thinking that if i move my step, would he reject me? i can't explain is this the feeling of fall in love? just that he really very nice. but i would think that i did not have the chance because come on, which guy would like a girl like me? i am fat, and not good looking but i saw fat girl can couple with thin guy... strange.. haha.. it just like in university had many ladies that would be better than me, how would he notice my present?